When can a dvar Torah be delivered?

While it is very important that the bar/bat mitzvah present words of Torah at the service, there are other opportunities as well. Anytime that we can connect our ancient texts to our everyday lives is a chance to demonstrate the relevance and timelessness of our tradition. At the kiddush luncheon it is very appropriate for a family member or the bar/bat mitzvah themselves to stand up and deliver a few words. It is especially nice for parents and grandparents to use that time to impart words of Torah. Certainly if there is a dinner or in conjunction with a candle-lighting ceremony, a short dvar Toah can be delivered. It helps to keep the whole event grounded in tradition and values.

Synagogue Board meetings generally start with a short dvar Torah by the rabbi or individual Board member. The idea is to get everyone focused on what the real work of the Board is. In the same way, a dvar Torah at an appropriate time during the celebration helps to elevate the event and keep everyone mindful of the 'mitzvah' in bar mitzvah.

I invite your comments on this!!

Finding a dvar Torah topic - A Story

I remember the dvar Toah writing process as my own children became bar/bat mitzvah. My oldest son had the portion Vayera in the book of Bereshit(Genesis). I remember people saying that all the parashiot in Genesis were easy because they all have great stories and it is so easy to find something that relates to our lives. I still believe this to be true, but it is still hard because there are so many themes and ideas that it can be hard to narrow it down. The portion Vayera includes the story of the near sacrifice of Isaac by his father Abraham. This is a difficult text and I remember that the idea of writing a dvar Torah about it made my son very nervous. To solve things, I told him that lots of people (more that we know!) have commented on this and he could choose something else in the parasha. He ended up writing a beautiful speech on the places in the parasha where people argued with God and why they might have done that. Most notably, he talked about Abraham's arguing with God regarding the destruction of Sodom. He connected it to his own personal expereince of arguing with teachers and other authority figures. What a perfect theme for a budding adolescent!

Starting to think about Dvar torah

At our next family program we are going to learn about how to write a dvar Torah. You will see that every Torah portion has some theme or nugget of truth that you will be able to link to a current issue or value that is meaningful to you. In some Torah portions that nugget is easier to find than others - but it is there! I recently found a website called mitzvahchic.com that has an advice and ideas sharing section. The following question relates to connecting to the child's Torah portion. Take a look!

How do I tie in a speech to the Torah portion? Click here.

You'll see that there are discussions about many topics - maybe a question or concern you have is addressed. Let me know if you come across something especially useful or controversial and I will pass it along!

Tallit Workshop Information – Don’t worry, you have lots of time!

For those of you that want to plan ahead, here is the information for the tallit making workshop. This workshop is the final Bar/Bat Mitzvah family program for the year and it is scheduled for Sunday, March 29^th.

Fabric requirements:

Oversized Tallit - Approx. 70" x 40"

Regular Tallit - Approx. 70" x 18"

The rectangular piece of fabric should be finished on all four sides. If you want to use a contrasting color for an 'atarah' (neckband) and to reinforce the corners, you will need approximately 1/3 yard more of material. You may also purchase ready-made atarot at the Judaica Store that have the tallit blessing on them. Girls: Please remember that some of the satiny fabrics are slippery and you may have trouble keeping it on your shoulders.

The neckband and corners can either be ironed on using "fusible web" or sewn on. Most importantly, there should be a finished hole or buttonhole in each of the four corners.

We will provide you with kosher "tsitsit". You will learn to tie the knots as part of the workshop.

This is always a great workshop and the finished tallitot are beautiful!

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask!

Choosing where to Give Tzedakah when there is so much need

Giving tzedekah in honor of a bar or bat mitzvah or as part of a mitzvah project is an excellent way for the new Jewish 'adult' to get started on a lifelong habit of giving. Here are a few resources for finding charities that are doing work that is meaningful to your family and that you can count on to be efficient.

Check out I've Done My Part at:

http://www.ivedonemypart.org/charities.html

And for guidance in choosing charities, Charity Navigator at:

http://www.charitynavigator.org/

Please feel free to share any information that you have on your favorite charities!

Thinking about invitations – Please share!

Need some help with language and wording for bar/bat mitzvah invitations? Here are just a few of lots of ideas out there. Remember that it is a great extra touch to use your child's Hebrew name as well as their English name. Having the name of their parasha on the invitation is good too. Some people even choose a verse from the parasha to include as well. Go ahead and comment and share some other suggestions that you may have!

A rich tradition of yesterday.
The bright promise of tomorrow.
We invite you to share a
precious moment in our lives
as our DAUGHTER/SON

becomes a BAT/BAR MITZVAH

Because you have touched our lives
with your friendship and love,
we invite you to join us in creating
a cherished memory as our
SON/DAUGHTER

is called to the Torah as a
BAR/BAT MITZVAH

on Parashat Lech Lecha

With pride, joy and mostly with love,
we invite you to join us as we celebrate

as our SON/DAUGHTER

Becomes a BAR/BAT Mitzvah
at the Havdalah Service

Did you know?

Our next family program isn't for a few more weeks, but I wanted to keep you thinking in the meantime. I would like this blog to be a place to share information, thoughts and ideas even when things are not directly connected to a program.

At the last program, we talked a lot about ways to make everyone involved with the simcha feel comfortable EVEN if their Jewish background was weak. You should know that your own Beth El Temple website has a library of audio files of many parts of the Shabbat service that you can listen to or download anytime! Your kids may already have some of these files on their ipods! See below for the direct link, but you can also find it on the Education tab of the website.

http://bethelwesthartford.org/resources/audio.php

Recorded by our own Cantor Ness!