Making the Simcha full of Mitzvah!

On Sunday our families worked hard to help out the fictional Segal family work out lots of issues related to their son's bar mitzvah. We talked about invitations, aliyot, community and celebration and how we can bring mitzvot into the process and the event itself. Thanks to all the families for this great collection of ideas:

Invitations: Invitations sometimes include inserts informing guests of mitzvah projects or tzedekah the child is involved in. Ask for donations in lieu of gifts. Some invitations can be purchased from the JNF or other organizations where part of the cost is donated. Recycled paper and email responses help keep down environmental impact. Put a verse from the Torah portion or other Jewish theme or quote on the invitation. Guests who are coming a distance could be offered home hospitality to keep their costs down.

Aliyot: Finding ways to include as many family members as possible is important. Families can be called up in groups for Aliyot. Recognizing grandparents is paramount. For family members who are not comfortable with Hebrew, have the bar mitzvah child tutor them on the blessings or have them go to the Beth El website to hear Cantor Ness recite them. Give them lots of advance notice to prepare. Look into the English reading that a non-Jewish family member may do in the service.

Celebration: Set a limit on the number of friends the child can invite. Perhaps make a separate lower key party for kids only. Include out-of-town family in the mitzvah project in some way. Use child's interests to create centerpieces that could then be donated. Use the candlelighting ceremony to honor special people. Keep the focus on the meaning of the simcha and not just the party.

Community: Make sure that the congregation feels a part of the celebration by including them in the kiddush. Write something in the handout at the service about how important it is to be celebrating as part of the community. Focus on mitzvot that child will continue to do after the ceremony to be a part of the adult Jewish community. Offer to read Torah again soon.

And Remember: Enjoy the moment. The details will work themselves out and let the joy of this beautiful rite of passage for the child be the essence.