Finding a dvar Torah topic - A Story

I remember the dvar Toah writing process as my own children became bar/bat mitzvah. My oldest son had the portion Vayera in the book of Bereshit(Genesis). I remember people saying that all the parashiot in Genesis were easy because they all have great stories and it is so easy to find something that relates to our lives. I still believe this to be true, but it is still hard because there are so many themes and ideas that it can be hard to narrow it down. The portion Vayera includes the story of the near sacrifice of Isaac by his father Abraham. This is a difficult text and I remember that the idea of writing a dvar Torah about it made my son very nervous. To solve things, I told him that lots of people (more that we know!) have commented on this and he could choose something else in the parasha. He ended up writing a beautiful speech on the places in the parasha where people argued with God and why they might have done that. Most notably, he talked about Abraham's arguing with God regarding the destruction of Sodom. He connected it to his own personal expereince of arguing with teachers and other authority figures. What a perfect theme for a budding adolescent!

Starting to think about Dvar torah

At our next family program we are going to learn about how to write a dvar Torah. You will see that every Torah portion has some theme or nugget of truth that you will be able to link to a current issue or value that is meaningful to you. In some Torah portions that nugget is easier to find than others - but it is there! I recently found a website called mitzvahchic.com that has an advice and ideas sharing section. The following question relates to connecting to the child's Torah portion. Take a look!

How do I tie in a speech to the Torah portion? Click here.

You'll see that there are discussions about many topics - maybe a question or concern you have is addressed. Let me know if you come across something especially useful or controversial and I will pass it along!

Tallit Workshop Information – Don’t worry, you have lots of time!

For those of you that want to plan ahead, here is the information for the tallit making workshop. This workshop is the final Bar/Bat Mitzvah family program for the year and it is scheduled for Sunday, March 29^th.

Fabric requirements:

Oversized Tallit - Approx. 70" x 40"

Regular Tallit - Approx. 70" x 18"

The rectangular piece of fabric should be finished on all four sides. If you want to use a contrasting color for an 'atarah' (neckband) and to reinforce the corners, you will need approximately 1/3 yard more of material. You may also purchase ready-made atarot at the Judaica Store that have the tallit blessing on them. Girls: Please remember that some of the satiny fabrics are slippery and you may have trouble keeping it on your shoulders.

The neckband and corners can either be ironed on using "fusible web" or sewn on. Most importantly, there should be a finished hole or buttonhole in each of the four corners.

We will provide you with kosher "tsitsit". You will learn to tie the knots as part of the workshop.

This is always a great workshop and the finished tallitot are beautiful!

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask!

Choosing where to Give Tzedakah when there is so much need

Giving tzedekah in honor of a bar or bat mitzvah or as part of a mitzvah project is an excellent way for the new Jewish 'adult' to get started on a lifelong habit of giving. Here are a few resources for finding charities that are doing work that is meaningful to your family and that you can count on to be efficient.

Check out I've Done My Part at:

http://www.ivedonemypart.org/charities.html

And for guidance in choosing charities, Charity Navigator at:

http://www.charitynavigator.org/

Please feel free to share any information that you have on your favorite charities!

Thinking about invitations – Please share!

Need some help with language and wording for bar/bat mitzvah invitations? Here are just a few of lots of ideas out there. Remember that it is a great extra touch to use your child's Hebrew name as well as their English name. Having the name of their parasha on the invitation is good too. Some people even choose a verse from the parasha to include as well. Go ahead and comment and share some other suggestions that you may have!

A rich tradition of yesterday.
The bright promise of tomorrow.
We invite you to share a
precious moment in our lives
as our DAUGHTER/SON

becomes a BAT/BAR MITZVAH

Because you have touched our lives
with your friendship and love,
we invite you to join us in creating
a cherished memory as our
SON/DAUGHTER

is called to the Torah as a
BAR/BAT MITZVAH

on Parashat Lech Lecha

With pride, joy and mostly with love,
we invite you to join us as we celebrate

as our SON/DAUGHTER

Becomes a BAR/BAT Mitzvah
at the Havdalah Service

Did you know?

Our next family program isn't for a few more weeks, but I wanted to keep you thinking in the meantime. I would like this blog to be a place to share information, thoughts and ideas even when things are not directly connected to a program.

At the last program, we talked a lot about ways to make everyone involved with the simcha feel comfortable EVEN if their Jewish background was weak. You should know that your own Beth El Temple website has a library of audio files of many parts of the Shabbat service that you can listen to or download anytime! Your kids may already have some of these files on their ipods! See below for the direct link, but you can also find it on the Education tab of the website.

http://bethelwesthartford.org/resources/audio.php

Recorded by our own Cantor Ness!

Making the Simcha full of Mitzvah!

On Sunday our families worked hard to help out the fictional Segal family work out lots of issues related to their son's bar mitzvah. We talked about invitations, aliyot, community and celebration and how we can bring mitzvot into the process and the event itself. Thanks to all the families for this great collection of ideas:

Invitations: Invitations sometimes include inserts informing guests of mitzvah projects or tzedekah the child is involved in. Ask for donations in lieu of gifts. Some invitations can be purchased from the JNF or other organizations where part of the cost is donated. Recycled paper and email responses help keep down environmental impact. Put a verse from the Torah portion or other Jewish theme or quote on the invitation. Guests who are coming a distance could be offered home hospitality to keep their costs down.

Aliyot: Finding ways to include as many family members as possible is important. Families can be called up in groups for Aliyot. Recognizing grandparents is paramount. For family members who are not comfortable with Hebrew, have the bar mitzvah child tutor them on the blessings or have them go to the Beth El website to hear Cantor Ness recite them. Give them lots of advance notice to prepare. Look into the English reading that a non-Jewish family member may do in the service.

Celebration: Set a limit on the number of friends the child can invite. Perhaps make a separate lower key party for kids only. Include out-of-town family in the mitzvah project in some way. Use child's interests to create centerpieces that could then be donated. Use the candlelighting ceremony to honor special people. Keep the focus on the meaning of the simcha and not just the party.

Community: Make sure that the congregation feels a part of the celebration by including them in the kiddush. Write something in the handout at the service about how important it is to be celebrating as part of the community. Focus on mitzvot that child will continue to do after the ceremony to be a part of the adult Jewish community. Offer to read Torah again soon.

And Remember: Enjoy the moment. The details will work themselves out and let the joy of this beautiful rite of passage for the child be the essence.